A letter from me in the Present to me in the Past

Originally published here.

Past . . . .

I have a decision to make, but I don’t know which rules to follow?

I have heard a lot of voices, my friends, my family and the people I admire.

They all have the same intent, which is to help me, but with a different perspective.

I am stuck, I am scared and I am beginning to loose something I value the most, my self confidence.

I write to you to complete the above lines for me……..

Before you begin I would ask you for a favor to make it a story and not some logical philosophy which I am too tired to comprehend.

Present . . . .

I don’t write stories, now how I am suppose to help.

I am very confused right now, how will I write a story and also give him the advice he is seeking. I will do it later.

Sounds like someone can relate to my state.

Let me give it a try, worse that can happen is I will make a fool out of myself.

Two old men with terminal cancer were resting on their hospital beds, one was Cole and other was Carter.

Cole is an arrogant selfish son of a bitch who has lived his life for his own pleasure. He lives on his own terms and doesn't have anyone to accompany in his last days.

Carter is a selfless family man, who gave up his dream and took the first job which came along to take care of a son born in his family. Then 42 years went by living the same way and he never had a chance to make a decision.

Cole was watching a baseball game and criticizing the players claiming that the problem with today’s generation of players is that they lack fundamentals. Carter didn't continue the conversation because he was wearing a headphone, scribbling something on a piece of paper and Cole realized he was talking to himself.

Doctor came in, Carter removed his headphones, as he wanted to listen what the doc had to say to Cole.

Doctor said the status has arrived and gave Cole 6 months to live. Carter was sad and was hoping to see a sad reaction from Cole. Doctor was continuing to speak something, and Cole interrupted him and asked him to move aside as he was blocking his view to the baseball game he was watching.

Carter got his status the same day and it was 8–12 months for him. He crushed the paper he was scribbling and threw it on the ground, turned to his right side to avoid eye contact with Cole and went to sleep.

Next morning, Cole got up early and tried to read the scribbling Carter had made on the paper. it turned out to be a bucket list, and Carter crushed it as he thought he didn't have enough time left before he will hit the bucket.

Cole liked the idea, saw it as an opportunity and decided to go for it and added some of his items to the list, making “bucket list” a two man game.

Carter was confused, as he made the list just to be metaphorical and never imagined himself living those items on the list.

Carter lost his cool, as he was not able to make a decision. He was not able to decide between living remaining months for himself or to be with his family, which he has been doing all life.

He was afraid, and he declined saying that “I don’t want to make a fool out of himself at this age”. Cole replied with a smile, “It’s never late”.

Carter knew his decision at that very moment.

Few minutes later, Carter’s wife arrived and got to know about his plan of taking his time off family and living few days with Cole.

Hearing this Carter’s wife shouted “What are you going to do, make a fool out of yourself”.

Carter replied with nothing but a smile and realized the happiness of becoming a fool very soon after making a decision.

. . . .

There is no guarantee that the coming days of his life would be good or bad or worse, but still he was happy that he made a decision.

I told you I don’t write stories, then how did I write this.

I didn't. It’s just my way of narration of a scene from one of my favorite movies “The Bucket List”

There are always going to be rules, philosophies, pros and cons of a decision. Nothing matters except what you feel. So go on, make a decision; go on, make your own mistakes early; and go on, make a fool out of yourself.

Want more, here is my favorite quote from Game of Thrones :)