Comparing is a Curse

A kid goes to his friend's place, sees a toy which he doesn't have, comes back home and feels unhappy that he doesn't have what his friend have. Now, there is no way to make him happy with the toys he already have, the only way out is to get him a new toy so he can show that to his friend or at least get him the same toy.

As a kid this feeling of comparison is not fatal, but as we grow up it will turn to be. The idea of comparison is natural and can't be ignored, but we need to have a different way to look at it; if we want to survive in this world and be happy. The idea of comparison is not going to vanish or be removed from the world, but we can at least train ourselves and build an immunity which will fight against the injection of 'Virus of Comparison'.

Comparison is not bad, but the way it is perceived by us and the community is not correct. It is the effect of comparison that matters and we are here to learn to fight it. Our childhood ends with 2.5 years and we enter school. Grades come into our life and there it all begins. Our parents always ask, what did your best friend xyz get and how come you scored less than him/her. On the contrary, if we get more they feel proud and express it with a gift, so that we perform better again. Did they ever ask what was your improvement from last test? It hardly happens and we know it. Why can't we compare our improvement?

This concept is natural from parents point of view as they are training their child to face the competitive world out there. They just see the world out there, but they don't have a way to save us from it. Instead, they should look at their childhood and see what was not good during their time and try to change it for their children. The way to fight this competition is not competing hard, but to prepare your self mentally that you are here to give your best and not to beat someone else. It is nothing new, but the different way to look at comparison. This way we can perform better, and we don't have to worry about what others have got. Final results are still going to be compared, but for your mind the only comparison that happens should whether you have improved or not.

Comparison is not only for grades or just the competitive world, as it is is more visible there. We compare everything, we compare our lives with others, don't we? We compare our success with others' success? We compare our new friends with our old friends, don't we? This is the curse I am talking about. Why do we need to compare, and not look it as a new concept/thing/stuff. This curse is heavy and often leads to demotivation and depression. It is inborn that we compare, but it's effect grows gradually and it should be stopped before it conquers our soul.

When we shift to a new place, why do we compare it with the old one. When we separate from old friends and go to a new place, this feeling of comparison stops us from opening up and we find it difficult to find new friends, we compare ourselves with others and think I am not good as him why will they take me? After a break up, you always keep finding the same features, same feeling in others like your ex partners. Should you do that? Shouldn't you see them as they are, as a new individual which might impress you even, which might be even more lovable, but you keep on finding the same person again and so it doesn't happen and you remain sad. This sadness is not good for you and is a curse for humanity.

We are all individual humans, and we should be happy with what we have got and try to improve. But we find it easy to curse ourselves and keep comparing our week points with the strong points of others and end up feeling dejected. Doing so, will decrease our will to improve and we will end up not giving our best and again feel sad, now because of ourselves. Comparison is known as the thief of joy, it will not let you feel happy for your improvement and will make you sad by comparing it with others. So make sure that your joy is not stolen by this thief.

Comparison Virus is like Ego, we should have it but we should know how to use it for our good.
Keep in mind the above things, and start looking at comparison from this new view. It will take time to adopt to this, but it will have similar effects like Positive Thinking. Our life is not about reaching someone else's best, but to reach at our best. So our motto should be - "We live to decrease the room for improvement".


always_genial said…
loved it thoroughly!!!!!
Anonymous said…
Awesome ! I always learn something new after reading your posts :)

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