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Showing posts from 2016

Realizations from 2016

Realizations from 2016 Year end invokes a lot of emotions in everyone and I am no different. This time of the year I sit back in my bed and just go back month by month trying to pen down all the things that happened, the good and the bad, which left an impact on me, and more importantly how will I remember this year when I am old. This year was big in terms of learnings, people events as well as life decisions. I left my first job at Morgan Stanley. Ended my long running job hunt. Got a new job in Manchester. Did go through some hospital time during the Visa process. 3–4 months of nothingness between job switch time. Moved to United Kingdom. A close friend got married at 23. Learned to cook chapatis and many other small things. Here goes the list; Know what matters and what shouldn’t bother you but it does… Silly things like maid didn’t come, your courier didn’t arrive on time, your bank account creation or transaction took more time than what you expected etc. bothers us when they a…

Another year comes to an end

Another year comes to an end This one is for those who are in the making. The ones whose struggle won’t end with the new year night, nor would they be awake wondering about the petty things and stupid emotions. They would be sleeping and be at peace with their dreams. The words are for them, who haven’t given up yet and are ready to take another step forward, without waiting for another day to start working on their dreams. No advice beats this simple one, take the first step. I often wonder what is it, that makes it so simple and so strong at the same time. That’s the thing with simple words, you don’t know but they do the job of motivating you without leaving any doubts. They don’t come with “but”’s or room for excuses which can be plugged in to change the meaning. But we are highly fascinated by the insurance companies’ asterisk sign that we put one for ourselves over these simple motivators. Adding to it, we are even worse compared to the insurance companies, because we don’t spe…

It took me a while but I got there

It is tough to speak truth all the time. I try too, but I end up lying more often than I desire. Truth is more about fuckups and less about morals, I often resist speaking about the whole truth just because I don’t think the other person will understand my situation or the reason why I acted the way I did and will wrongly judge me or other fears which my mind spawns up for me. I believed that I am indifferent to the judgement — people have about me, but as it turns out, when I am placed in an unknown place full of strangers, those fears come out and haunt me. The truth simply put would be like, I thought these traits didn’t existed, I was immune from them, but they were there all along, they were just buried deep down and now they are alive again. I am happy they are back, as I can resolve them this time and not leave them unattended. The happiness comes from this fear of living with the negative ailments in me. Now, wouldn’t you agree with me, that it is difficult to explain this ki…

Growing up with the missed childhood

Despite the tangle of ideas in my mind, I was young, innocent, free, and therefore almost happy. Yesterday, I was reading Tolstoy’s Youth sitting peacefully midst the tall green banyan trees and mosquitos, who believed my blood would be delicious, I wasn’t sure of that, but they were. When I read the above line, I thought to myself, ‘Can it be said any better?’ I had read many such lines in his writing, but this one was exceptional, it was immortal and left no one in the present, it transports you to the past when you felt the same…but just forgot what being happy was all about. I was no exception, I went back to the time when my English teachers used to advise me to read more, but I being the stubborn topper, didn’t find it important, and used to reply, “I don’t like to read…” It was all about numbers for me then, getting full marks in mathematics, gave me pleasure, while English grammar was something I could never understand. I never saw English beyond the grammar book, never under…

Take your time

Originally published here. I know you are scared. I know you think time is running out and you still don’t have your life figured out. I know a lot has changed around you, which scares you even more. I know you are afraid to commit to something and regret later. I know your friends have started to love their jobs but you haven’t. You still want something better, you are not ready to settle for anything less. Its just the time which is freaking you out, you don’t want to give in yet, but you are afraid you will have to in some time. You are starting to loose the confidence, I know. You are starting to doubt your dreams, I know. You thought you were different than most, but now you feel you aren’t, I know. Your parents don’t expect more from you, but you want more from your life, I know. You are not ready to surrender when their is still some air left in your lungs, I know. You believed your path was right, but it is just taking more time, I know. You are not able to give your hundred …

The Lost Battle

Originally published here. He was a warrior with no shields or armour, His fight was not of blood or honour, He had no enemy, but still he fought every single day His friends couldn’t be of any help, nor could be his family For what he was seeking, was not out of reach, nor was it waiting next door Time was not on his side, nor were his thoughts For what was worth his while, he was afraid to decide, to give in or to let go Time ran out, and his life went by, but he couldn’t choose a path Later in his wheel chair looking at the sky, He said to himself, with eyes filled with tears, I didn’t win the battle of my life, nor did I loose the battle of my life I am still fighting the lost battle with myself, I am the enemy I could never defeat ... Please sign up on my private mailing list by clicking here, if you want to hear from me more often and be the first one to know in case I write something or read something awesome.

Just another day, he said to everyone who called

Originally published here.

The conversation which happens on a birthday phone call is pretty standard I guess. Here is how it went this year for me.. They wish happy bday; I say thank you; They ask about my plans, where am I partying?; I say nothing, no plans, just another day at office. Then they say one or the other thing to make me sad, for instance, how sad are you, you have become an old man, like an uncle, 24 you have reached the age of getting married, why have you gone to office, you should have taken a leave and the list goes on. But for some certain reason I was completely immune to the taunting comments which were meant to be funny. The reason might lie in the fact that I am happy the way it is. Just like any other day. I always liked the idea of birthday being just another day, but as far as I remember it has never been simple for me, last year I was on a trip to Abu with my parents and before that in Aamby Valley, Lonavala with my friends. Maybe I crave for change more t…

Vivid memories of three accidents

Originally published here. 1. When I fell from my cycle. I was riding my red colored cycle, the brand name was BSA, I don’t even know if it exists anymore. It didn’t have a carrier, unlike the conventional cycle we see every day. It had long metal vertical chords, which were adjacent to my seat’s end, and gave support to my back. My brother had a green one, I don’t know why but we use to call it mongoose, maybe because of the brand, it was smaller in size, had a carrier and was way cooler than mine. He got a new cycle and on the other hand, I got the one which my sister use to ride. I felt real jealous back then, and now I smile when I think about the same. One day I was riding fast, much more than I could handle back then, a turn was around the corner, but I didn’t feel like slowing down, and I went on to take the left turn with my increasing speeds. I crashed with a bang, skidding all the way across to the other side of the road, fortunately, no vehicle was coming from opposite sid…

It's never mutual

Originally published here. Love is a beautiful thing which happens to some people who are lucky. Love doesn’t come and go, once it comes in your life, it never leaves. Love isn’t for the weak-hearted who don’t want pain in their lives. Love is an addiction which makes life worth living. Love is for the people who care, it is for the ones who would love even after they leave, it is for those who liked being in love, and it is for those who deep down in their hearts know that there is no turning back, that they are doomed and they won’t be the same again without them and they can’t hate them for any reason possible. I have never been a believer of the notion that love can happen in a moment or in a day. Love demands lots of time, adjustments and commitments. Love develops over time when you get to know the other person more and more. Once you think you know all about the person, like their shitty past, imaginative dreams and fantasies, their beliefs, their passions, their fears, their …

Realizations from 2015

Originally posted here. Reading life lessons, listening to life stories of experienced people or watching motivational videos fall under the category of weak or temporary motivation for me. On the other hand realizing the importance of little moments, which you experience in life yourself come under strong or permanent motivation. And I believe the latter is the only way to become a self-motivated individual and gain some self-sustaining confidence. Here goes my list of realizations from the past year. Taking breaks is a must for your brain to be at its peak. I used to be an asshole who used to stick to a problem, just satisfying my ego of not getting up or not eating anything till I get it solved. It got me nowhere, give some fresh air to your brain and see how quickly it solves the problem once you return from your break. Ask for criticism, not for appreciation. People appreciate to keep you motivated and help you keep doing what you are doing. Find people who care for you to impro…