The struggle that never ends

Originally published here.
I don’t struggle to earn a living, it comes easy to me, unlike my parents. I don’t have any dependents on me, who won’t survive if I don’t have a job. I am not forced to do a job, I took it by choice and not under fear of being unemployed. I write code for a living, Computer Science was my engineering major, so I am fortunately doing a job in the same field, i.e. computers, unlike an electrical engineer who works in the Sales Division without making any use of his education. I am also not a hyped engineer who didn't want to be an engineer and was forced by parents or community in the first place, I wanted to become one and I do love technology to its core. Now let me tell you how do I struggle and why my life is not all roses and cakes.
The struggle is to watch the changes happening around and still being calm and happy. The struggle is to do a job without thinking I hate it, like everyone around says. The struggle is to accept the fact that life is not college level happening anymore, and be okay with not having much to say when some asks’s you how is your life is going? The struggle is to be happy being a nobody un till you turn into somebody someday. The struggle is to believe in yourself more than you ever did in the past. Your self-belief is being questioned every now and then when you see someone making a decision so boldly and you are still confused and you start thinking that you are incapable of making a decision. The struggle is to build patience and perseverance which is needed to improve and develop a skill. The struggle is to understand the game of time. The struggle is to live with these thoughts in your mind and still be yourself.
The struggle is stopping myself from going for a master’s degree just to get a job in US. The struggle is not to start a startup I don’t believe in. The struggle is not to find another job in US or Europe, go there and do what I do in my current job. The struggle is to write what I feel after so long.
But try to make sure the struggle was worth your time.
Being at peace with these thoughts going on in your head is the real struggle. Being yourself, being satisfied in the middle of society and all kinds of people around you is a victory in itself. Going on the mountains, and feeling your true self is easy, as there is nothing to distract you from being you. If you can fight this struggle of being yourself, with every negative thought going on in your head and still can be calm, then I don’t think anything can stop you in the world from achieving what you want.
Can I be happy in a life without struggle? I am sure I can’t. The small moment at the end of every struggle is what gives me happiness. So if there is no struggle there is no happiness. The struggle is here to stay, it is not going to end sooner or later it will be in my life in some way or the other. What I can do is to train myself to live with this struggle and ensure it has a tough time giving me trouble.
“The great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Comments

:) said…
Beautifully written ! And very true :)

Always love to see a new post from you Saheb!

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